Went to the second opinion docs with Jay this morning. I, too, am cautiously optimistic.
Actually, I’m thoroughly optimistic and extremely relieved, because that’s just how I am. Jay is still waiting for the other shoe to drop, not because that’s just how he is (he’s actually very positive and hopeful), but because he’s not willing to let his guard down and be slammed with unexpected bad news again. Especially before we see his oncologist next week.
The truth most likely lies somewhere in between our two emotional states. I’m all, “Oh whew, no chemo now! We can go to WorldCon, all the fall cons, everything is normal, woo hoo! Maybe it was all a false alarm!” Well, I’m not sure I think that…but, I was really hoping to go to WorldCon, and the odds for that just got a lot better.
So why am I so fixated on WorldCon? Selfishly not wanting to miss a fun trip? Strategically wanting to do an important writerly thing? Optimistically wanting life to be normal? I don’t know. I just feel relieved. I’m going to hold that for now.
I mean, whatever normal is. The onco doc this morning stressed that, hopeful as this is, it’s still his reality that he has to go in for scans every three months. But hey. Scans vs. chemo? I think the choice is clear.