Day Jobbe Insanity.
So, as I pretty much expected but was still bitterly disappointed to hear, the severance/buyout thing got denied, all the way up to the top, for whatever value of “top” you want to believe…I mean, not the Grand Pubah or any of the Mighty Overlords or anything, but up to the High Priestess Whose Word Is Final On Such Matters.
Boss Man, who is merely a Special Shiny Star (but a pretty darn Special one, by virtue of having been there so long, running our department, and having brought many, many millions of dollars into the Massive Bureaucracy, through both the ordinary route of grants but also by being the patent holder on Something You Have Actually Heard Of), was shocked and horrified to hear this. Which is nice.
But then he immediately asked if I would stay longer, as a result. And before I could say, “No, I am sooooooo out of here,” he went on: what if they restructured it so that I could have the time I needed for the travel I want to do, if we could cut my hours down by letting me use up some of the vacation and sick leave, etc etc…thereby easing the transition until such a time as I actually have my divorce settlement in hand and can get on with my life?
Um…
What it boils down to at this point, I think, is an emotional argument (“Oh my god let me out of here I wanna quit I can’t stand it I want time to write and this whole place is broken and it sucks and there’s no future here and I can make it really I can!”) versus an intellectual argument (“Hmm, sort of the same money and benefits for less work and more flexibility, and then I get to get out of here two or three or four months later?”). Which, put that way, is kind of a no-brainer.
Well, that’s the trouble. The brain is all, Yeah, duh. The heart is all, But you said that was my last Monday!!!!!! Wahhhhh!
Not asking for advice here, since it seems pretty clear to me…but, typing it out helped. And, I mean, if I’m missing something, do feel free to point it out to me! I don’t mind.
Where we left it was we (me, Boss Man, and Boss Lady) will all think about it overnight. Boss Lady had some technical questions that relate to how she posts the position–we wouldn’t want my staying on to mess up that process, because that only postpones the problem for her without solving anything. So she’ll work on that, and I’ll drink wine and think about it here.
And write fiction. ‘Cause that’s what I do, when I’m not doing payroll transfers.