So Much For Laundry; and Other Domestic Tales

As so often happens here in the Witch Building, the laundry machine is broken. The one that removes the wetness from the clothes; not the one that puts the wetness in the clothes.

Unfortunately, the Witch did not notice the tiny sign meant to alert her to this fact until she had put the wetness into one load of laundry. A load which is now decorating her nice, clean bathroom.

The Witch made an angry phone call to the Witch Building Overlords, which yielded the usual results: none.

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That was first thing this morning. Dismayed but undaunted, the Witch then turned her attention to her terrible, terrible floors. Lo these many months she has been running the noisy and completely ineffectual floor-cleaning machine over the carpets and hardwood; lo these many months the floors have grown dirtier and dirtier. Put simply: the vacuum cleaner does not suck.

She diagnosed the problem, unscrewed the carpet-cleany attachment, untangled the hairs and wires and small snakes and rodents which were living within, reassembled the attachment, and reinstalled it onto the machine: to no avail. The vacuum cleaner still does not suck.

Earlier research had revealed the staggeringly horrific cost of vacuum cleaners which actually do suck. Lest you think that might be some kind of a solution.

So the Witch pondered: what should she do? Run the noisy but ineffectual machine over the floors once more, producing no result other than grinding the foul nastiness just that much further into the carpets? Or….

Yes. The Witch pulled out the furniture-grooming attachment, installed that on the machine, and cleaned the entire (and quite spacious) Witchnest on her knees. Probably filling a whole vacuum bag in the process.

Took like an hour, gave grievous pain to the Witchback, and rendered her incapable of anything else for the rest of the morning. But damn, these floors are clean.

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Then she positively *nailed* that problematic scene in Demonhead, did two more chapters after that, watered the orchids, ran a few errands, and has spent the rest of the day in leisurely literary activities. (I.e. lying on the couch and reading.) Not bad.

Except for all that clean laundry in the bathroom. And all that dirty laundry in the hamper…

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