The Fire Ritual
Before I left home, Auntie wrote me and said that one of her good friends invited us to a fire ritual to celebrate Equinox on Saturday night. Auntie has been to rituals at this friend’s place many times before—cleansing, purity, creativity, letting go; in addition to just regular parties and the like—and said she’d like to go. Sounded great to me!
On our way over there, she said it would probably last a half hour or so, and then they’d feed us a fantastic dinner, but since we had a few extra minutes, let’s stop for a glass of wine. Oh thank god we did, and that we ate a few bites of the tiny snack they brought.
When we got to her friend’s house—deep in the country, no plumbing or electricity, just an ancient house in the middle of fields and fields of grass, and forest, and whatnot—they were still setting up the fire. We were told to mix the rice we’d brought in a bowl with this yellow powder that got all over everything and everyone (it’s still under my fingernails two days later, still on Auntie’s legs, still on the mosquito repellant, etc.), and to take our places around the fire circle. There were about twenty of us. A few people spoke a little English. Everyone was friendly (as everyone always is here, whether we can communicate or not).
Then the mosquito hordes descended. I truly think this was the worst mosquito experience I’ve ever had. They’ve been bad since I got to Italy, but this was epic. We all had spray and other repellants…to no avail. They were relentless. Swarming. Covering everyone, biting through our clothes, slurping up the repellant like it was candy. I got bitten a thousand times, I’m still one big itch.
The ceremony was run by the boyfriend of the niece of Auntie’s friend, and it was something they (the niece and boyfriend) had learned in India. Before he started he casually mentioned it would take “a couple of hours.” Auntie and I gave each other nervous looks. But, nothing to be done about that now!
So the fire was built and the first few mantras were said. He would explain everything in Italian, and then stop and explain everything to me carefully in English, while the whole circle turned and patiently looked at me. We were all asked why we were there—me first. I said, My aunt invited me. Other people said they were “curious.” I think nobody realized what they’d signed up for. We were all swatting at mosquitoes every moment.
Boyfriend sat in Lotus, with a little table beside him with nine tiny bowls of stuff—lentils, herbs, beans. We said mantras to each of the nine planets or aspects, over and over. At the punch line of each chant, you’d throw a pinch of rice into the fire, using your thumb and your two central fingers (no index, no pinkie). And again. And again. And again. At the end of each planet/aspect, Boyfriend would throw the rest of his bowl of stuff into the fire and take a new one. I was watching the progress here. I was encouraged.
It slowly got dark. The mosquitoes seemed like they were getting better, then worse, then better, then worse. Right before it was too dark to see, something large crawled across my foot. It was black. I have no idea what it was. It was about this time I was thinking, Why oh god why am I here and not in some nice café with a glass of wine and a bowl of pasta!!! Or in bed, even! (This being my Day of Worst Jetlag.)
Time went on. The fire grew. We all threw our rice, pinch by pinch. The niece passed the bowl around so we could refill. I began to have to pee. Auntie whispered, Just go on the other side of the house, there’s no bathroom here. I whispered, No that’s fine.
After about an hour, chanting the mantras, explaining what each aspect meant (in Italian and English), Boyfriend’s table was empty. I began to get even more hopeful. Then the niece brought out a whole new plate of stuff and our rice bowls were refilled once more. “Now we do the ten goddesses,” Boyfriend said.
More explanations. Boyfriend threw rice, and herbs, and milk, and honey, and butter, and olive oil, and rose petals. I became by turns entranced (chanting before a fire at night will do that to you), and amused (here I am sitting in a field in Italy doing an Indian ritual with arborio rice and extra virgin olive oil!), and frustrated (here I am sitting in a field for the rest of my dang life being eaten head to toe by mosquitoes and god knows what else that I can’t even see…). Slowly, slowly we worked. I thought, And after the ten goddesses, then the fourteen gods? And then the twenty-three lesser demons, and the forty-seven winds? I thought, I’m going to die out here. I’ll have no blood left; my veins will run with only mosquito poison. I got three hours of sleep last night. I have to pee. I began to get really fidgety. The fire was hot on my face and the night was cold on my back. I spilled my rice bowl everywhere, swatting at a mosquito; everything stopped while it was patiently refilled.
But, after the ten goddesses it was done (except for another few minutes of summing-up chanting and rice-throwing). It was now about ten o’clock, nearly three hours after we started. I really had to pee, I was starving, I was so grateful we’d at least stopped for the tiny bite along the way! Auntie said, Get a napkin from inside and go around the house. Everyone was up and milling around; we went into the tiny ancient house and there was a table set up with a bottle of Lambrusco and some bread. Auntie managed to get someone to open the wine at once (this is how you know we’re related) and two glasses poured. Ah! We had some bread. Ah! I tucked a napkin in my pocket. Then a giant wedge of the most delicious cheese ever was brought out—a goat blue, creamy and amazing and homemade. In fact all was homemade—the Lambrusco too. We ate, we drank. Salami was brought out, oh my god. This mustard stuff to put on everything. More wine, more cheese, more bread, more everything. A chickpea salad.
Suddenly the world was all right again. The mosquitoes were gone. I eventually remembered having to pee and went around to the now-abandoned fire, peed on the ground (and maybe my shoes, who knows? I couldn’t see) and tossed the napkin onto the coals. We ate more, drank more. One guy had an iPhone with an app for identifying the stars and constellations. We saw Jupiter and a bunch of stars—we were in the middle of a field with no electric lights, it was gorgeous.
Then dessert was brought out—several desserts. An incredible torta with jam. A “chocolate salami”–a roll of chocolate and nougat and I don’t know what-all, fantastic. Ribald jokes were made; I even understood some of them. Everyone was warm and welcoming and happy.
After a long while, the party started breaking up. We stumbled back to our cars in the pitch dark. I was no longer worried about whatever weird things were crawling around that I couldn’t see, or that I was sticky with bug spray and food eaten with my hands, or the yellow powder, or pee on my shoes, or whatever. We got home about midnight. I slept very well.