I met a LOT of people when I moved to Portland. Almost all of them came into my social circle via the relationship for which I moved to Portland.
Then that relationship ended; a few “friends” (very few) decided they needed to take sides and I quite noticeably stopped hearing from them; another few friends made it clear they were NOT taking sides, and that they valued my friendship as well as his, and that was very lovely.
But a whole lot of people just sort of…went about living their lives, as people do, and I stopped running into them, by virtue of my not showing up at the places where the ex was likely to be, and that sort of thing.
But now it’s been over a year, and there were a few people I remembered fondly from the ‘before’ time; and I’ve decided to take this in hand and reach out to people I’d like to have as friends.
It’s going VERY well. I’m building a warm and comfortable friendship with an LJ buddy. I’ve got hiking dates on the horizon with several different people. I had dinner last night at the home of My Dear Miss Q, who I emailed last month with some trepidation, because of things we won’t go into here–but she was very happy to hear from me. She is an absolute delight, and has already introduced me to friends of hers who are similarly wonderful–thus expanding my circle, to continue to step out of the sphere of the ex’s influence (which is mighty and powerful, as you might imagine).
This is good stuff, all of it. I’m putting roots down here.
People still sometimes ask me if I regret moving to Portland, since it didn’t turn out the way I’d expected. I still have the same answer: no way! I love it here. And my life needed a change–a big change. Maybe I could have taken ownership of my life like this if I’d stayed in San Francisco, but it would have been a whole lot harder. (Not to mention more expensive.) I love my house, I love this city and its crazy weather, and I’m loving my “old” friends and all these new friends. Portland is great. 🙂
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And I loved the sunny day we had today–I put in an intense hour or so in the yard, filling up my yard waste bin with clippings and dead stuff that I’d been eyeing for weeks and finally dealt with. There’s more, still–there’s always more–but this was a great start. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, though, alas. Well then I can stay in and work on Hobgoblin.
ah, this makes me so sad that I moved away… I miss our occasional breakfasts and dinner-thingies. I must visit soon…
Yes, I miss you too! Come back and visit!! (And blog more often!)
You’re my first (and still almost only) friend here that doesn’t have a what’s-his-name connection. 🙂 And, well, I like you.